SWAP DEAL APPEALS TO ATLETI
There is one deal that is dominating my headspace at the moment, and that’s the Julian Alvarez SAGA. I love a summer saga, the worst of all time was my first heartbreak… losing out on Patrick Kluivert. I followed the back pages for MONTHS. I was so excited about a player who actually wasn’t that exciting when he moved to Barcelona. I was also heartbroken by the De Boer brothers deal that fell through because Arsene didn’t want to rattle Ajax too hard. I was gutted when we didn’t get Julio Baptista to replace Patrick Vieira, then we got him at a later date and he was… very upsetting to watch. Not all transfer sagas end in sadness, but there is a lesson here… don’t fall in love with rumors if you’re a grown adult, even if the process is quite fun.
The Argentine sharpshooter (ish) is speedrunning an exit. He has fluttered his eyes at a rival, drawn the ire of Atleti leadership, created a massive spat between himself and the fanbase, and now he’s been presented with two options…
Stay in an untenable position at Atleti
Go to Arsenal
This is a decision that will go down to the wire, Miguel Delaney is reporting that Atleti want a decision by Friday, there are rumblings that Arsenal already have an offer in via Spanish media. The tidbit from The Independent that is so sexy is cannot be real (but likely is because Miguel wrote it).
‘Another potential advantage that Arsenal have is that they can send forwards the other way. Atletico manager Diego Simeone has already been pushing to strengthen his attack, and both Viktor Gyokeres and Gabriel Jesus are appealing to the Madrid side.’
Imagine Atleti coming in and taking care of two of our problems in one stunning hit this summer window; it simply doesn't get better than that. That’s like someone buying your house and offering to take care of the damaged roof and the dead body in the basement to speed up the deal; it just doesn’t get better than this sort of footballing altruism. I’m almost getting emotional about the camaraderie and enduring respect I’ll likely feel for a massive deal like this… I think I’d write a thank-you note to their sporting leadership team, extend an invite to them to come for Christmas, fuck it, let's get on the phone to Ashburton Army and explore an Atleti tifo this season. I’ll be like the guy who just won a car on Oprah…
‘Good things like this just dont happen to folk like us’
Oh, we’ll celebrate.
Reality is we’ll be here at the end. of the window with Gyokeres and Jesus, but one can dream.
It’s also worth grounding our lizard brains in another painful truth… we don’t need another forward, even with Martinelli out the door. Eze can play on the left, and that was one of the original thoughts from last season when he joined. Not sure he was expecting to join as an understudy to Odegaard or play that many games centrally. He can be a Samir Nasri wingfielder for us, and I suspect he’d offer some bang-bang out there. He’s a great player, plenty over the course of our glorious history have come good in their second season, why not Eze?
It is key that we don’t overspend on someone who you need to squint at to understand their value. We need level-raisers, not tactico favorites from faraway leagues where the risks of success are low. Risk of success? My word. This is why I blog. Terrible English. The Telegraph would never hire me. Fearful and pessimistic language slop that reminds you I am not penning this with the support of an obsequious AI tool (yet)… but that’s how the window has me typing in 2026.
… back to it, Julian did not attend training this morning due to feeling unwell. I’M DREAMING AGAIN, GIRLS AND BOYS!
Exiting the club is Gabriel Martinelli for a fee rumored to be around £60m. There are sell-on clauses so he doesn’t get flipped to Europe, and there’s some money to shift to his Brazilian club, but overall, you can’t feel too rough about this deal because he only had one year left on his contract. It’s a good sale; the player will get life-changing money, and Arsenal will cover the necessary sales to leave us in a good place on the financials.
I’ve seen a lot of upset about the sale, or more specifically, the treatment of the player. I can’t help but think this is like breaking up with someone.
If you meet the person to do it… ‘why did you waste my time with the meet up?’
If you call them… ‘this is very impersonal’
If your mate Dave does it via text for you… ‘YOU COWARD’.
Lesson here: no one likes being dumped; there’s no easy way to do something where the dumped party writes a thank you note with a scented envelope. Getting rid of players is tough, and Arsenal don’t do a lot of it.
I’ll always love the player. He was the bright spark of the Edu era. Low cost, maximum impact, a lovely talent who lit up some games. He never dialed back the intensity, never spoke out of turn, and always offered Arsenal a threat on the pitch. The man won a Premier League ffs. What a talent!
I think Arteta might have some regrets about his ability to take him from good to great. Arsenal never really maxxed out his incredible engine. Martinelli was a Goldilocks player; if you wanted to see him at his explosive best, he needed space, balls over the top, and to be having a day where he didn’t think too much… he should be a 20 g/a type of player, and unfortunately, he never hit those levels after he signed a brand new deal with Arsenal. We need a player better in tight spaces; we need someone more confident in their bang-bang, and we need, at this point, an xG defier… he’s not that. Good luck to him, I’ll always love him for the good times, and the love for the badge.
The PFA player of the year went to Bruno Fernandes, and young player of the year went to Nico O’reilly. Very much a whatever moment for me. Hard for me to service the idea that Bruno Fernandes, in a United side that finished 3rd in a United side without Europe, with no trophies. But does it really matter? Do I really care? No mate, I don’t. I’m not in this beautiful game of football for the individual awards. I’m about the collective offerings… the Premier League means more to me than anything that is voted on. Declan Rice, Raya, and Saliba all made a type of history that will be seared into future memories. Fernandes won an award that will be derided with the same spice as Nedved winning the Ballon d’Or over Thierry Henry way back when.
Final topic of conversation… I really liked this tweet.
What are these teams doing out here?
🇪🇸 Rodri — £65.4m
🇧🇷 Savinho — £75m + £10m
🇳🇱 Reijnders — £51m
🏴 James Trafford — £40m + £5m
🇳🇱 Nathan Aké — £8.5m
🇨🇭 Manuel Akanji — £15m
🇦🇷 Nico González — £50m
🏴 Reigan Heskey — £8m
🇪🇬 Omar Marmoush — £60m
Total: £387.9m
I’m just struggling with the rules-based market delivering these sorts of figures. How can a selling norm of Arsenal be ‘when clubs know you want to get rid of players, you lose your leverage’ then I have to watch Man City ship out a whole lot of ‘we don’t want these players’ for maximal fees that actually look disgusting? Like, come on, how are we living in a world where Spurs are shelling out that much money for two busted flushes from Man City? It’s hilariously bad… daylight robbery. Nico Gonzalez isn’t going for a discount fee despite totally bombing at Man City?
It’s not too dissimilar over at Chelsea.
What is this number? How did Forest land there? 13 goals in 67 appearances? Woefully poor across the board, and we have to be led down the path of belief that Forest said, fuck yeah Chelsea, we know Delap is a bomb squad player you are DESPERATE to shift; but we’ll spend MORE money than you paid for him based on his very bland spell with you. Even the Villa story of Nico Jackson heading there… how are we letting that slide? Chelsea break a British transfer record for Morgan Rogers, that’s chipped away by an overinflated Garnacho deal, followed by Nico Jackson?
There is no such thing as a market rate… it’s mates’ rates. Who your footballing mates are determines the deals you get and how they are structured. It’s so absurd. But not as absurd as the Man City transfer spend, that is likely to land at billion since January 2025 if they get Bouaddi and Enzo done. All sponsored by clubs trying to break into the top 4 by purchasing from the most expensive yard sale in world football. Beggar's belief, I tells ya.
Ok, that’s me done with the ranty stuff. Check out the latest AOP with Jacob and me. We are sooo into the new season and I am LOVING it. x
