ARSENAL WADE IN THE MURK FOR OSHIMEN

It's becoming increasingly struggle-bus-ish to stay faithful to a transfer window that's been on a rocky single-lane road of vomit-inducing qualities… however, fellow bedwetters, we must always return to this notion when times get extremely emotional:

1. Arsenal are Champions

2. We have had the least tumult squad-wise this window

3. We were missing many stars last year who are mostly fit now

4. We added the best non-top 4 midfielder in the league to our squad

5. We added the biggest G&Aer outside the top 4 leagues

6. Max Dowman and Myles are first team additions

Are you feeling better? Good. Objectively, we’re still in good shape.

But that doesn’t stop the mad dash for a center back and the flatulent attempts at upgrading the forward line any less irritating.

Subscribe now

Read more